After Being Diagnosed With A Sunburn
by WhereStarsComeFrom
Summary: They both stared at me. That's impossible, Edward scoffed.  Well, Alice began, It's extremely unlikely, but I suppose if you were to stay in the sun long enough...  Silliness!  What were to happen if a vampire got a sunburn?


A/N: Written for the 'what if' factor. It was very fun… And please don't pester me with 'well I read that's impossible' reviews. If this scenario really is impossible, please tell me nicely and state your opinion of the story besides that fact. Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer is the lovely creator and owner of all her amazing works. I'm just borrowing them for a bit.

0OoO0

(Preface)

_Edward lay stretched out in the clearing. He knew he really shouldn't have been doing this, but the sun was curiously soothing on his bare back. The aroma of the grasses and the trees calmed his senses. Sunlight was a novelty feeling on his skin- delightfully warm and rich. He did not know how long he had been lying there, but he was far too comfortable to move into the shade of the trees…_

0OoO0

(BPOV)

As I drove up to the school, I spotted Edward, who was waiting for me as usual. I killed my truck's ignition, hopping out of the cab and slamming the door behind me. Edward's lovely eyes smiled down at me, but he seemed somewhat weary. He shifted his backpack on his shoulders and walked over to me. "Hello, Bella. How was your weekend?" he asked, articulation flawless.

He had gone hunting with Jasper and Rosalie for all of Saturday and most of Sunday. I replied, "As good as it's going to get without you. I finished the English essay. And yours?"

"Good, I suppose. I missed you." He looked uncomfortably around.

"Everything okay?"

He nodded. "I'm assuming Charlie is at work today. Is that correct?"

"Yup."

"It's a minimum day."

I had completely forgotten. "Do you want to come over?" I asked excitedly.

He smiled. "That could be arranged."

I grinned and reached for his hand as we walked off to our first class.

0OoO0

After our condensed day, Edward and I met Alice by the field.

"Hey Bella!" she said brightly.

"Hi Alice,"

She smiled wrapped her arm around her brother, giving him a one-armed hug. Edward winced and shook her off. "Damn it, Alice, that hurts!"

We looked at him in surprise and she asked, "What hurts?" She lightly touched his back.

Edward sighed angrily. "Did I not just express that it hurts when you touch my back?"

"But _why_?"

"How am I supposed to know?"

"Well, when did you notice it?"

"Sunday night…"

"You said you were fine this morning!" I said anxiously.

"Why didn't I see this…?" Alice mused.

"Why don't we go to Charlie's house and sort this out," I suggested.

"Excellent idea," Alice agreed. Edward mumbled something about going there anyway as we walked towards the parking lot. With only a couple yards left, Alice sprinted to the silver Volvo and stood by the driver's door, clutching the door handle. Edward snarled at her.

"I want to drive," she stated haughtily. She then raised her eyebrows and added something telepathically.

"I have the keys," he answered, narrowing his eyes.

I blinked and Alice was holding the keys. Edward threw up his hands and walked over to the passenger side. "We'll see you in a minute, Bella,"

0OoO0

Once Alice, Edward, and I were all inside, we went up to my room. Alice seated herself on my bed and swung her legs; they didn't reach the floor. Edward pulled off his sweater and a caught a glimpse of his back. I gasped. "Edward, your back is all red!"

He looked at me surprised and Alice darted over to where I was standing. "She's right! Take your shirt off. What happened?"

As Edward peeled off his shirt, he replied, "Alice, for the last time, _I don't know_."

He looked over his shoulder and frowned. "It looks like a sunburn," I offered.

They both stared at me. "That's impossible," Edward scoffed.

"Well," Alice began, "It's extremely unlikely, but I suppose if you were to stay in the sun long enough… Carlisle might know about these kinds of things. _Were_ you in the sun for a prolonged period of time?"

His face remained void of emotion. "I might have been."

"You idiot!" she hissed, "Carlisle and Esme would ship you to Alaska if they found out you've been laying around in the sun-"

"One: No one is going to tell them," He looked meaningfully at Alice. "And two: I was in the forest, no one saw me."

Alice let out an agitated sigh.

Silence.

"So Bella," Edward asked after a minute, "What should I do after being diagnosed with a sunburn?"

"Well, I usually put something cold on it, but you're already cold. I might put some lotion on it…" The truth was, after moving to Forks, I hadn't gotten a real sunburn in a while.

Edward crossed his arms over his chest. "Well Alice, would I look suspicious if I wore long sleeves for… Bella how long does it take for a sunburn to heal?"

"A week? It's probably different for vampires."

"The back of your neck is burned, too." Alice commented. "No, I don't think you have seven turtlenecks."

"Okay, okay, point taken. I could muss up the collar of a polo shirt or something. Do you have any lotion, Bella?"

"Of course she does!" Alice exclaimed, "Even _I_ have lotion."

"_You_ and Rosalie probably have every health and or beauty product in existence."

Alice grinned mischievously. She closed her eyes and gave an evil laugh. "The only lotion we're going to find is vanilla scented and coconut."

Edward moaned. "Are we going to go buy some?"

"Yes… and people are going to look at you weird because you have to go past the aisle with the… well…"

"Thank you for the visual, Alice." Edward interrupted. He pulled his shirt back on and nodded towards me. "Would you like to come with?"

"Of course."

"Sorry to be rude Bella, but I think I'm going back home now," Alice said.

"Go ahead… what time will Charlie leave?"

"Six thirty-two."

"Thanks, see you later,"

Alice smiled and made her way out of the house.

0OoO0

"I would go mad if I had a vehicle like this," Edward commented as we pulled up in the drug store parking lot.

"Well you don't, so don't be hating on my truck," I replied. The bright florescent lights momentarily blinded me as we entered. We walked over towards the personal care aisle, looking up at the big signs.

Edward sighed. "Of course, Alice was right and the only way to get to the shelf with the unscented lotion is right across from all the sex products. I would run over and get some, but there are people… ah, Jessica and Lauren."

I sighed. "So… should we wait until they leave?"

"They're choosing nail polish and are currently very indecisive."

"Aren't there any big drug stores around here? You know, where everything relating to the body isn't crammed in one isle?"

Edward laughed darkly. "Forks is a very small town, Bella, complete with a small-town drug store as big as the school's gym."

"Would coconut or vanilla lotion really be that bad?" I murmured.

"My family would be curious."

"Can't we just get some from Alice?"

"I'm pretty sure most of her products are scented. Would Charlie's portion of the bathroom have anything?"

I had never thought of that. I didn't go poking around through Charlie's stuff. Heck, I probably wouldn't even know where to look. "Um… we can look…"

"Hey Bella!" Jessica had just noticed Edward and I standing at the head of the aisle.

"Hi Jessica,"

"What are you guys getting here?"

"Uh…"

"Gum." Edward said suddenly tugging my hand towards the front of the store.

"Oh," Jessica looked disappointed. "Well see you at school,"

"Yeah, see you."

We walked up to the front of the store and out into the foggy parking lot. Edward shook his head. "They really do come up with some repulsive images…"

0OoO0

"Found it!" I held up a travel-sized bottle of lotion. Edward stopped rummaging through the drawer and started putting its contents back inside.

"This is turning into quite an ordeal." He said playfully, removing his shirt again.

"Do you want to do it, or do you want me to do it?" I asked. It took a lot of self-control to look at his face.

"I don't think I'm any good at this sunburn business. You had better do it."

I poured the contents into my hand and carefully started to rub it all over his back. "Is my skin hot or cold?" he asked.

"Well, it's a little cooler than room temperature. Not as cold as usual."

Edward nodded and remained silent.

"Okay… you're on the road to recovery."

He turned around and kissed my face. "Thank you,"

"No problem," I breathed, dizzy.

Edward carefully pulled his shirt back on as I washed the remaining lotion off my hands. We made our way up to my room where we sat on the bead, leaning against the headboard. "Does it feel any better?"

He smiled slightly but didn't meet my eyes.

"Edward?"

"I… I think it was more… your touch." He looked up at me, his eyes in full brightness.

I felt my cheeks flush. I was lost for words.

"I love you," he whispered, wrapping his arm around my shoulder.

"I love you, too," Our lips touched. And I knew only Edward could turn a day like this into an adventure. I kissed him again.

0OoO0

Well, this was good for me. I typed the whole thing in one train of thought- lately I've been seriously stumped. I know it was silliness, but I feel like posting it up anyway.


End file.
